


Wrong Number (Not Again)

by rulingoftheplants



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: BUT THEY DONT KNOW, Fighting, Internet Friends, LMAO, Literally no one wants this, M/M, Protective Connor, Protective Evan, References to Drugs, Slow Burn, Texting, Wrong Number AU, bc they both aren't like know, but connor too, but i was bored, evan curses a lot, evan will call out anyone, he isn't afraid, he takes no shit, he's worked hard to be there, my bby evan is so confident, texting fic, they are protective of each other, they go to the same school, will they meet? idk tbh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2019-06-09 16:05:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 13,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15271161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rulingoftheplants/pseuds/rulingoftheplants
Summary: Evan accidently texts Connor's number instead of Jared's and well they become quick friends fast. Only thing? They don't know each other in real life, even though they go to the same school.





	1. Donut Holes

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I'm back! So I got this idea a long time ago, and now I have time finally so I'm now gonna start posting! I'm gonna try to update every tuesday, thrusday, and saturday!
> 
> hope you enjoy!

 

 **Unknown:** Do you think people are sexually attracted to donuts? I mean, they have holes.

 

 **Connor:** I’m sorry who tf?

 

 **Unknown:** Oh shit. Wrong number, that was meant for my friend Jared. I shall leave now.

 

 **Connor:** No! Let’s talk. Why are you asking your friend if people have donut kinks??

 

 **Unknown:** I think random shit all the time. But I mean donut kinks would make sense.

 

 **Connor:** Are you trying to tell me something??

 

 **Unknown:** SKSKSK NO.

 

 **Connor:** Okay, glad it’s not a kink of yours. Btw, what’s your name? I'm Connor.

 

 **Unknown:** Oh. Why?

 

 **Connor:** Bc I wanna be your friend???

 

 **Unknown:** Really? No one ever wants to be my friend. Everyone hates me, except like Jared, of course, and even he is ashamed to be seen with me.

 

 **Connor:** How could anyone hate someone who validates donut kinks? :D

 

 **Unknown:** I?? Don’t even know what to say lmao?? My names Evan! :)

 

 **Connor:** Well nice to meet you Evan.

 

 **Evan:** You too.

 

 **Connor:** We should play twenty questions!?!?

 

 **Evan:** Sure?? Not like I have anything else to do.

 

 **Connor:** Okay then, how old are you? (I’m 16)

 

 **Evan:** I’m fifteen, but I shall be gracing the Earth soon with another year in like two months.

 **Connor:** ….. We love people who grace the earth by turning a year older…..

 

 **Evan:** Fight me.

 

 **Connor:** I can’t fight someone I don’t know?? Or virtually?? That’s not a thing… yet.

 

 **Evan:** ;)

 

 **Connor:** Did you just.

 

 **Evan:** ;)

 

 **Connor:** Boi what the. I’m out. Peace.

 

 **Evan:** NO! I’M SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN TO MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE I SHOULD HAVE STOPPE DTHE FIRST TIME.

 

 **Connor:** Dude, I was kidding. Calm down.

 

 **Evan:** Sorry, it’s just you’re literally like my only friend?

 

 **Connor:** Same though. Everyone at school is like terrified of me bc some little bitch made up something about me setting all the trash cans on fire in all of the boy’s restrooms. How that's possible, I have no idea.

 

 **Evan:** How even? Lmao, people hate me at school, because I can’t say a single word without stuttering because I have such severe anxiety lol.

 

 **Connor:** Damn that’s rough. They shouldn’t hate you for something you can’t control. :/

 

 **Evan:** Oh shit. Look at the time, I have to go to bed, because you know, school. Anyways it was nice talking to you Connor, I hope we can talk more.

  
**Connor:** Of course? Good night.


	2. Blood Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor and Evan both hate school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah! Chapter 2!

 

**Evan:** I hate this class so much? I would much rather be participating in a blood sacrifice.

 

**Connor:** Lol me too. What class are you in?

 

**Evan:** History.

 

**Connor:** Lmao I’m in bio.

 

**Evan:** I love bio??

 

**Connor:** Gross why?

 

**Evan:** My teacher is nice, and I like science.

 

**Connor:** The only class I like is art.

 

**Evan:** You do art? Wow.

 

**Connor:** Yeah, it’s the only thing I’m like decent at.

 

**Evan:** I’m sure you are good at other things.

 

**Connor:** Eh, I’m like good at English.

 

**Evan:** Oh! I write poetry! And I work at a floral shop!

 

**Connor:** Nerd.

 

**Evan:** SKSKKS SHIT MY TEACHER IS CALLINGOUT PEOLPL BYE.

 

**Connor:** I hope you didn’t combust lmao.

 

**Evan:** Okay I’m back. She asked me when the revolutionary war started. Thank god for Hamilton.

 

**Connor:** 1776 NEW YORK CITY.

 

**Evan:** I want to write the next line. But I also want to like talk to you talk to you so I’m not going to yell Aaron Burr over text.

 

**Connor:** Well how’s school going so far Mr. Evan?

 

**Evan:** Well Mr. Connor, it is horrible. I opened my locker to a shit ton of notes telling me to end it, and to top it off some asshole read my note I take to therapy, out 

loud, to the whole class this morning.

 

**Connor:** Honestly wtf is wrong with people? That’s so fucked up. I’m sorry man.

 

**Evan:** Idk people suck, especially the ones at my school. And lol you don’t have to be sorry it’s not like it’s your fault they think I’m a freak for having anxiety. Anyways have you heard of the book series The Foxhole Court?

 

**Connor:** OMFG YES? I WOULD LITERALLY SELL MY SOUL TO THE DEVIL FOR THE FOXES?? I LOVE THEM SO MUCH??

 

**Evan:** OMFG YOU HAVE READ IT? I’VE NEVER MET ANYONE THAT HAS! NEIL AND FUCKING ANDREW ARE LIKE?? I LOVE THEM?? I LOVE NEIL WITH ALL MY HEART?? AND ANDREW BBY?? AND FUCKING MATT?? I LOVE THEM.

 

**Connor:** Technically,,,,,,,, we haven’t,,,, met.

 

**Evan:** Hush you. We are talking so we have met, just not irl.

 

**Connor:** Idk if you watch them, but I read the “irl” part in Dan Howell’s voice.

 

**Evan:** I think we're soulmates?? I love Dan and PHIL FUCKING LESTER!!!!

 

**Connor:** 120% BDE

 

**Evan:** Omfg….. tRUE.

 

**Connor:** Wait do you have any pets??

 

**Evan:** Do I have any pets? You bet your ass I do. I have a cat called Harmony and she’s gray with blue eyes. She’s so pretty I cried when I first got her.

 

**Connor:** Lucky ass. My parents would fucking flip their lid if we were to get any pets bc our house is “too elegant” to have any pets. Lame.

 

**Evan:** Lmao. Does your ass like live in a mansion or something? I’m sure they could build an elegant pet house too if that is the case.

 

**Connor:** Nah. My family is just well off ig? And they don’t want any pet hair on the marble tile.

 

**Evan:** God, I’m so glad I’m like not well off then, having carpet is the best. And having pets. Hahah. I’m winning.

 

**Connor:** Yeah, I would agree that your winning, but at least I get to take care of my mom’s daughter.

 

**Evan:** You mean your sister?

 

**Connor:** Oh shit, that’s what it’s called. I couldn’t think of the word.

 

**Evan:** What are you on?

 

**Connor:** Drugz.

 

**Connor:** Kidding I haven’t smoked in a long ass time, I’m just tired bc school is tiring and hella boring.

 

**Evan:** Hella?

 

**Connor:** Hella.

 

**Evan:** You are something else.

 

**Connor:** Right back at you ;)

 

**Evan:** SKSKKS THE BELL JusT RUnG IM LATE.

 

**Connor:** Hey my late bell just rung too. Only I’m late all the time.

 

**Evan:** This is horrible. Now I have to walk in and everyone is gonna stare at me and I want death.

 

**Connor:** You will be fine, just say you fell down the stairs or some shit.

 

**Evan:** Ah, I shall say “some shit.”

 

**Connor:** Tell me how that goes.

 

**Evan:** Okay, I’m about to walk in. I’ll text you at lunch or something.

  
**Connor:** :D

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave me kudos and a comment to motivate me to keep writing. i adore all of you all, as usual.
> 
> come hang out with me on tumblr: https://rulingoftheplants.tumblr.com/


	3. Ouch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor is going through something. Evan says a lot can happen when your in the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending of this made me laugh? And I wrote it??

 

 **Evan:** Connorrrrrrrr you have to send me some of your art! I wanna see the talent you have.

 

 **Evan:** But like only if you want too.

 

 **Evan:** We can do like an art trade, but I give you poetry instead? Since I can’t draw?

 

 **Evan:** Hello?

 

~

 

 **Connor:** Sorry I’m responding like three hours late. I passed out, like behind the school, after some dicks beat me up. I hate people.

 

 **Evan:** No. I guess I’m gonna kill some asshloes. How bad is it? Are you okay?

 

 **Evan:** Connor?

 

 **Connor:** _One (1) Image Attached_

 

 **Connor:** Sorry I was cleaning up my face lmao.

 

 **Evan:** Holy shit. What did they fucking do to you? (Also you look familiar?)

 

 **Connor:** Tbh idk. I was in the library and the next thing I know? A book is being slammed into my head and I’m being dragged outside of school.

 

 **Evan:** Jesus. Did you tell anyone? Besides me? Like an adult?

 

 **Connor:** Nope. None of them listen. I only told you.

 

 **Evan:** Your parents??

 

 **Connor:** They are at some fancy business trip for the next two weeks.

 

 **Evan:** Your sister??

 

 **Connor:** She’s 11??

 

 **Evan:** Oh, well then. Wait my mom’s a nurse? She could like help you? Like on what to do?

 

 **Connor:** Ev, it’s fine, I’ve had a lot worse, I know what to do.

 

 **Evan:** But that’s not fair. You shouldn’t have that much experience with getting beat up that you can say you have had worse. :(

 

 **Connor:** Well I mean there’s nothing I can really do. I can’t move schools.

 

 **Evan:** :(

 

 **Connor:** :(

 

 **Evan:** :((

 

 **Connor:** This just reminded me of the time I asked my theater teacher if I could be stage manager and she told me that she needed my “spectacular tap powers.” in her play instead. So for like the rest of the play I would text her a sad face for three months and she would just send them back lmao.

 

 **Evan:** Tap powers??

 

 **Evan:** Do you like purify water well or??

 

 **Evan:** Oh shit, wait like tap dance??

 

 **Evan:** Okay, you can’t just leave me in the dark like that.

 

 **Evan:** Smh.

 

 **Connor:** Geez. I had to piss calm down.

 

 **Evan:** Okay, but like who doesn’t take their phone to the restroom nowadays?

 

 **Connor:** Me?? Germs? On my phone? It’s less likely than you think.

 

 **Connor:** Wait does that mean you take your phone in the restroom??

 

 **Evan:** Uh? Yeah??

 

 **Connor:** Nasty. Smh.

 

 **Connor:** *face palms*

 

 **Evan:** YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THEER MIGHT BE AN EMERGENCY?? A LOT CAN HAPPEN IN THE TIME YOU ARE IN THE BATHROOM!

 

 **Connor:** Okay, but if an emergency did happen what are you gonna do? Slap it with your dick??

  
**Evan:** I?? Bye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments keep me going. I adore you!


	4. User Has Blocked You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor's almost burns his house down. Evan learns Connor is a Phillie. Evan is shook.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, they aren't fighting. Yet.

 

 **Connor:** So if I, in like theory, put aluminum foil in the microwave, and there’s like a fire,,,do I stop the microwave??

 

 **Evan:** CONNOR WHAT THE FUCK. YES STOP THE FUCKING MICROWAVE???

 

 **Connor:** I SAiD iN ThEorYYY.

 

 **Evan:** WE ALL KNOW YOUR DUMBASS ACTUALLY DID IT AND THERE'S A FIRE.

 

 **Evan:** Sorry that was harsh, but it’s three am why??

 

 **Connor:** Listen I wanted fucking garlic bread, and it was in foil. I was half asleep.

 

 **Evan:** And you were just gonna let your house burn down??

 

 **Connor:** I figured the fire would give the bread a charred flavor.

 

 **Evan:** Why are you like this.

 

 **Connor:** Idk tbh.

 

 **Evan:** Dan are you there??

 

 **Connor:** I swear I can’t do any of those things without hearing him say it??

 

 **Evan:** He’s ruined us.

 

 **Connor:** I’m a full time Phillie though,, I’m not ruined. I stan a innocent bean uwu.

 

 **Evan:** I hope your microwave explodes.

 

 **Connor:** MICRO-WAVE.

 

 **Evan:** I’m blocking you.

 

 **Connor:** You wouldn’t dare.

 

 **Evan:** Test me bitch. It’s three am.

 

 **Connor:** DONUT KINKS?? ARE FUCKING REAL! I’M A PROUD DONUT.

 

 **Evan:** I’m done.

 

 **Connor:** I let myself go. Sorry.

 

_This user has blocked you. We will send the message when the user unblocks you._

 

 **Connor:** Really bitch?

 

_This user has blocked you. We will send the message when the user unblocks you._

 

 **Connor:** Bby come back, you’re all I have.

 

_This user has blocked you. We will send the message when the user unblocks you._

 

 **Connor:** Ugh. Fake. Salty bitch.

 

_This user has blocked you. We will send the message when the user unblocks you._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> much love as always! kudos and comments keep me going! i adore you.


	5. You Run What??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan unblocks Connor. Evan also exposes himself lmao.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope u laugh!

**Evan:** Okay I unblocked your needy ass. 

 

**Evan:** Salty am I??

 

**Evan:** “I let myself go” 

 

**Evan:** Me every week.

 

**Connor:** Ugh why are you up so early? (Also you’re back. I almost died without you, never leave me again.)

 

**Evan:** Connor, you realize, it’s two pm???

 

**Connor:** Ugh don’t wake me till three. 

 

**Evan:** I’m not even there??

 

**Connor:** Fight me.

 

**Evan:** “I can’t fight someone I don’t know?? Or virtually?? That’s not a thing… yet.” Bringing this gem back ;)

 

**Connor:** *makes a shocked face*

 

**Connor:** How could you??

 

**Connor:** Those were private!

 

**Evan:** ?? 

 

**Connor:** PRIVATE.

 

**Evan:** I’m gonna block you again???

 

**Connor:** WAIT NO.

 

**Evan:** Do you think if I sneak my cat into the movie theater I will get like arrested? Because I wanna go see the fourth Purge, but like Harmony is my comfort??

 

**Connor:** Bitch take me wtf. And idk maybe you will get kicked out? Not arrested though.

 

**Evan:** Ugh, I guess I’m just gonna have to illegally stream it. YOLO.

 

**Evan:** Also how am I supposed to take you?? 

 

**Connor:** Um? Pick me up? From my house?

 

**Evan:** We don’t even know if we live in the same country?

 

**Connor:** You said I looked familiar??

 

**Evan:** True? But maybe you just have an average face.

 

**Connor:** *cries* My heart. 

 

**Evan:** No. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.

 

**Evan:** *virtual hugs*

 

**Connor:** *hugs back* God that was a nice hug. 

 

**Connor:** It’s been years since I’ve had a hug.

 

**Evan:** That’s so sad. Alexa play despacito.

 

**Evan:** Kidding, now I just really wanna hug you. 

 

**Connor:** Someone wants to hug,,,me??

 

**Connor:** This is wild, Alexa play What The Fuck is Up Kyle vine. 

 

**Evan:** I thought you were bae, turns out you were just fam. 

 

**Connor:** No I am your bae. 

 

**Connor:** Here have some DnP Wholesome memes. 

 

**Connor:** _ Twenty seven (27) Images Attached _

 

**Evan:** Where the hell did you get so many??

 

**Evan:** I only have two??

 

**Evan:** Also I’ve never seen these before and I run one of the largest stan accounts on twitter??

 

**Evan:** Oh fuck I just exposed myself. 

 

**Connor:** No fucking way. 

 

**Connor:** You run the account? The one with like,,eighty k???

 

**Connor:** Wtf?? Go follow me? I only have twelve followers. 

 

**Connor:** Also, you’ve never seen them before,,,bc I make them?? Duh?

 

**Evan:** Are you THE WHOLESOME DNP MEME ACCOUNT???

 

**Connor:** Maybe……

 

**Evan:** I follow you on my other account, the one that isn’t so massive. 

 

**Evan:** Now I’m gonna go shout out your account what the hell??

 

**Connor:** HOW THE FUCK DO I ALREADY HAVE OVER 100 FOLLOWERS??

 

**Evan:** You’re welcome bby ;) Anything for my bae ;)

 

**Connor:** ;) 

 

**Connor:** Also how the actual fuck. Why are they following me?? I only post those memes?

 

**Evan:** Because I told them too. Also your account is amazing?? I love your memes?? They are so soft?

 

**Connor:** That’s kinda the point?? They are called wholesome for a reason??

 

**Evan:** Oh shut up. This is why I never bother to compliment anyone. 

 

**Connor:** Ay Aye Captain!

 

**Evan:** DO you haTE ME OR??

 

**Connor:** ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

**Evan:** Please never say captain or ever do that many smiles. 

 

**Evan:** War Flashbacks. 

 

**Evan:** It was 1943 when my grandpapi was walking along the darkest of meadows, just as he saw a cat run past him. 

 

**Evan:** Then. He died. 

 

**Connor:** Damn. That was DEEP. 

 

**Evan:** Only ;) For ;) You ;)

 

**Connor:** SKKSKSKSKSK

 

**Evan:** Only a true gay would say. 

 

**Connor:** Well you’re not wrong. 

 

**Connor:** I’m king gay, bitch.

 

**Evan:** NO I’M KING GAY. BOW DOWN BITCH.

 

**Connor:** boI WHAT THE

 

**Evan:** God I love the gays.

 

**Connor:** Same. KSKSKSKS.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments keep me going! as always i adore you all.


	6. Tea Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan finds out tea. Connor is shook.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you laugh!

 

**Evan:** TEA. 

 

**Evan:** I REPEAT. 

 

**Evan:** T E A.

 

**Connor:** WHAT’S THE TEA

 

**Connor:** SPILL

 

**Evan:** SO I FOUND OUT THAT THE MOST POPULAR COUPLE IN MY HIGH SCHOOL ARE LIKE ACTIVELY CHEATING ON EACH OTHER?? LIKE THEY BOTH RAN INTO ME TODAY AND HUSHED ME. IM FUCKING WHEEZING BITCH. 

 

**Connor:** LSKSKSKSKSK

 

**Connor:** THIS BITCH BURNING. 

 

**Connor:** SHOOK

 

**Evan:** WOKE

 

**Evan:** SHOOKETH

 

**Connor:** WOKETH

 

**Evan:** SHOKETH

 

**Connor:** Okay, too far. 

 

**Evan:** BITCH IDC TEA IS HOT.

 

**Connor:** KSKSKSKSK

 

**Evan:** How does it even work though? Like are they aware or??

 

**Connor:** Eh, they are popular kids, all they care about is football, sex, and being popular. They both probably know they are cheating if they are anything like the kids at my school. 

 

**Evan:** Popular kids make me wanna die tbh. 

 

**Connor:** One time some of them found out I was lead in the school play, so they pushed me down the stairs. 

 

**Evan:** What the fuck??

 

**Connor:** Those assholes can basically get away with anything. Ugh. 

 

**Evan:** Did you know that willow trees have some of the strongest roots?? Like ever??

 

**Connor:** How did you even?? We weren't even??? I??

 

**Evan:** Sorry lmao. It was a random fact that I remembered. Usually I write them down, because no one cares, but I figured I’d give it a chance. 

 

**Connor:** Well I’m honored. I love me so tree facts. 

 

**Evan:** YEET

 

**Connor:** YOTE

 

**Evan:** We are best buds. 

 

**Connor:** WE SHOULD GET BEST BUDS SHIRTS.

 

**Evan:** SKKSKS WE SHOULD BITCH

 

**Connor:** WAIT I COULD SKETCH UP A DESIGN AND YOU COULD MAKE OUR SLOGAN ALL POETIC.    
  


**Evan:** BITCH IM FUCKING DOWn.

 

**Connor:** TREES AND MOTHER FUCKING DONUTS.

 

**Evan:** For a friendship that was forced together, by donuts, and sealed, with the trees. 

 

**Connor:** I?? How did you do that so quickly??? 

 

**Evan:** Talent bitch. 

 

**Connor:** wOW I wish I had talent.

 

**Evan:** Says the one who is literally drawing the logo. But go off I guess. 

 

**Connor:** Wow your so salty. I’ve been roasted so many times by you just this week. 

 

**Evan:** Con, it was like twice, chill out. 

 

**Connor:** Idk what your talking about. I’m the definition of chill. I’m a fucking snow cone. Get on my level and salsa with me. 

 

**Evan:** Doesn’t that ruin your holy “chill” shit? 

 

**Evan:** ALSO

 

**Evan:** FIESTA SALSA QUINCEAÑERA BITCH >>>>>>> parties

 

**Connor:** RAINI MY QUEEN

 

**Evan:** SKSKSKSKS

 

**Connor:** FUcK I WANT SALSA AND CHIPS NOW.

 

**Evan:** HAhHA loser. I have some at my house. GET ON MY FIRE LEVEL BITCH.

 

**Evan:** Come over and get em.

 

**Connor:** We’ve never met dumbass. 

 

**Evan:** But we could change that ;)

 

**Connor:** I??

 

**Evan:** ;)

 

**Connor:** See I would fucking block you, but I appreciate you too much so. 

 

**Evan:** NeRd.

 

**Evan:** Same though. 

 

**Connor:** You actually blocked me???

 

**Evan:** In my defense you fucked with my beauty sleep asshole. 

 

**Connor:** wOW someone is still fucking grumpy about that. Also beauty sleep?? Are we twelve year old goils??

 

**Connor:** IN MY DEFENSE MY FUCKING MICROWAVE WAS ON FIRE??

 

**Evan:** WELL WHO PUTS FOIL IN THE MICROWAVE?? AND YES BEAUTY SLEEP, IT’S SOMETHING UGLY HOES NEED. 

 

**Connor:** ME BITCH. AND UGLY HOES?? ARE YOU SAYING YOUR UGLY?? AND A HOE??

 

**Evan:** …………………………………………………

 

**Evan:** Ugly yes. 

 

**Evan:** Hoe? Also yes ;)

 

**Connor:** I call bS. YOU'RE TOO PRETTY, and you’re too nice to be a hoe lmao. 

 

**Evan:** Aye that rhymed. 

 

**Evan:** Also bitch you have no idea what my ugly ass looks like.

 

**Connor:** Send me a picture bae ;0

 

**Evan:** _One (1) Image Attached_

 

**Evan:** Here’s me with Harmony.

 

**Connor:** HOLY SHIT MY GAY ASS IS QUAKING.

 

**Connor:** UGLY MY ASS.

 

**Connor:** MORE LIKE SO FUCKING CUTE YOU’RE CUTER THAN YOUR CAT AND MY WHOLE BRAIN JUST WENT UWU. 

 

**Evan:** WOw that’s a lot of hype. 

 

**Evan:** Thanks??

 

**Connor:** YOU’RE WELCOME??? YOU’RE SO CUTE I’M DEAD. 

 

**Evan:** Well from what I remember you’re not too bad yourself.

 

**Connor:** I’ve had better days. 

 

**Evan:** KSKKSKS FROM THAT PIC OF YOU WITH BRUISES EVERYWHERE YOU WERE HOT, SO I MIGHT LOSE MY SHIT WHEN YOU HAVE A “BETTER” DAY IN YOUR EYES. 

 

**Connor:** MAN I FUCKING WISH WE WERE FRIENDS IRL. WE WOULD BE THAT SLOW BURN FRIENDS THEN I WOULD FUCKING DATE YOUR ASS. 

 

**Evan:** I?? 

 

**Evan:** You might as well just ask for my hand in marriage now wtf Con???

 

**Connor:** Sorry was that too much??

 

**Evan:** Eh? ALSO ASDFGHJK DID YOU SEE DAN’S NEW FUCKING PICTURE?? I’M LoOSING MY SHIT AND MY FUCKINH LID HAS FLIPPED.

 

**Connor:** BITCH DID YOU SEE PHIL’S???

 

**Connor:** BYE I AM CRYING.

 

**Evan:** THEY ARE TOO PRETTY IM DEAD.

 

**Connor:** DID DAN JUST FUCKING LIKE YOUR REPLY???

 

**Evan:** SKSKSK YES I  A M D E A D W H A T  T H E F UC K.

 

**Connor:** SKSKSKKSKS

 

**Connor:** OVER FUCKING LOAD. 

 

**Connor:** INEEDANAP.

  
**Evan:** SAME BITCH.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos keep me going. i adore you as usual.


	7. I'm Friends With A Famous Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan hits a mile stone. Connor is convinced they are soulmates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope u laugh!

 

**Evan:** Update, I hit 90 k last night??

 

**Connor:** Update, I’m best friends with a famous bitch. 

 

**Evan:** Bestfriends? Aw babe.

 

**Connor:** SKSK STOP I AM BLUSHING. 

 

**Connor:** THIS IS NOT ALLOWED. 

 

**Evan:** But babe, you said we had a slow burn then you’d fucking date my dumbass. 

 

**Connor:** This is harassment. I know what I said. 

 

**Evan:** BabE.

 

**Connor:** StoP MY FACE IS R E D.

 

 **Connor:** _One (1) Image Attached_

 

**Evan:** StOP YOU’RE SO CUTE.

 

**Connor:** Well STOP MAKING ME BLUSH.

 

**Evan:** BABE.

 

**Evan:** HONEY.

 

**Evan:** SWEETIE.

 

**Evan:** CUPCAKE.

 

**Evan:** LOVE.

 

**Evan:** DARLING. 

 

**Connor:** KSKSKS STOP.

 

 **Connor:** _Four (4) Images Attached_

 

**Evan:** YOU ARE SO CUTE.

 

**Evan:** YOU ARE LITERALLY EGGING ME ON.

 

**Connor:** _ One (1) Image Attached  _

 

**Evan:** S T O P YOU ARE MAKING MY HEART GO ALL UWUUWUWUWWUWUWU.

 

**Evan:** SKSKKS YOU LOOK LIKE A WHOLESOME MEME.

 

**Evan:** MY HEART.

 

**Connor:** BITCH.

 

**Connor:** GO CHECK YOUR DM’S.

 

**Connor:** IT’S THE GIVE AWAY BITCH.

 

**Evan:** KSKSKS THAT IS A SHIT TON OF STUFF.

 

**Connor:** I’m gonna enter??

 

**Evan:** I’m not. 

 

**Evan:** I won’t win. 

 

**Connor:** Babe :/

 

**Evan:** Babe :)

 

**Connor:** eAST iS UP.

 

**Evan:** SSKSKSK Nico and the Niners fucks me sideways with a metal pole everytime. 

 

**Connor:** Well that was graphic??

 

**Evan:** ;)

 

**Connor:** :o

 

**Evan:** wAIT BITCH WHAT BANDS DOES UR GAY ASS LISTEN TOO??

 

**Connor:** I feel attacked???

 

**Connor:** And I listen to like Muse, NF (don’t fucking judge me bitch,) Eminem, The Front Bottoms, Bring Me The Horizon, The Wrecks, Saint Motel, DECLAN FUCKING MCKENNA, and P!ATD. 

 

**Evan:** Yeah, just give me your hand in marriage now. I’m deadass serious. 

 

**Evan:** You didn’t list a single band/artist I don’t listen to. 

 

**Connor:** ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS???

 

**Connor:** THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.

 

**Evan:** True tbh, also I’m in the gc on twitter and holy shit is everyone a crackhead. They never stop?? And everyone has an accent except me! Like I’m just a dumbass american. 

 

**Connor:** Well Americans are dumbasses. 

 

**Connor:** I know too many. And like have you been out on the fourth of July??

 

**Evan:** Right?? They are crazy. 

 

**Connor:** Americans.

  
**Evan:** AAAAAAAAAAAAA….MEricaNS.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i have offically run out of prewritten chapters so i have to get on that shit. anyways comments and kudos keep me going, and i adore u as usual.


	8. Bab??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor worries. Evan is MIA.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall this is longer than usual. 
> 
> im feeding my babies today.

 

**Connor:** Bab. 

 

**Connor:** bAB.

 

**Connor:** BAB.

 

**Connor:** BAB?

 

**Connor:** I hate my sister. 

 

**Connor:** She took my phone yesterday, and did that thing to where it autocorrects to a different word. 

 

**Evan:** How she do that.

 

**Evan:** When I was 11 I was a dumbass and I couldn’t even walk in a straight line. 

 

**Connor:** Big mood bitch. 

 

**Connor:** But bAB. 

 

**Connor:** FUCKING HELL. 

 

**Connor:** I have to ask her bitchass to change it.

 

**Connor:** Brb imma go do that shit now.

 

**Connor:** Okay I’m back bitch.

 

**Connor:** Hello?

 

~

 

**Connor:** Ev?

 

**Connor:** Evan???

 

**Connor:** Are you okay??

 

~

 

**Connor:** Evan?? 

 

**Connor:** You haven’t been active on your twitter either. You’re always constantly tweeting. 

 

**Connor:** Please respond? 

 

**Connor:** I’m worried. 

 

**Connor:** I’m sorry if I did anything. 

 

**Connor:** I didn’t mean to upset you. 

 

**Evan:** No, you didn’t do anything bby. I was reading this good ass fanfiction and it was slow burn and like 100k words. I got immersed and read it from start to finish with fucking moving lmao.

 

**Connor:** BITCH.

 

**Connor:** YOU SCARED THE LIVING FUCKING SHIT OUT OF ME.

 

**Connor:** ASSHAT. 

 

**Connor:** YOU FUCKING SPORK.

 

**Connor:** Also which fanfiction?? I wanna read that shit. 

 

**Evan:** BITCH IM CRYING. 

 

**Evan:** IT’s SO WELL WRITTEN MY FUCKING HEAR T IS C R Y I N G.

 

**Evan:** I CAN’T DO THIS.

 

**Evan:** PHIL IS SUCH A GOOD EGG.

 

**Evan:** I LOVE HIM.

 

**Evan:** I A M CRYING. 

 

**Connor:** BITCH SPILL.

 

**Evan:** KSKKSKSK

 

**Evan:** It’s called Trust me, I’m Broken Too.

 

**Evan:** It’s a phanfiction obviously. 

 

**Evan:** One of my twitter mutals said I hadn’t lived until I read it.

 

**Evan:** AND I WANNA LIVE BITCH.

 

**Connor:** bIG MOOD.

 

**Connor:** If my gay ass randomly disappears,,,I’m reading that shit. 

 

**Evan:** BITCH IT IS SO GOOD UR GONNA CRY SO MUCH.

 

**Evan:** IT’s BEEN TEN MINS AND IM STILL FUCKING CRYING. 

 

**Evan:** LIKE PHIL IS SUCH A GOOD EGG AND I JUST WANNA HUG DAN SO MUCH. THEY BOTH DESERVE THE WORLD. ALSO I FUCKING HATE THE KING FUCK OFF. 

 

**Connor:** WELL NOW I GOTTA GO READ THIS.

 

**Evan:** GRAB A SNACK, DRINK, AND FUCKING TISSUES BITCH. 

 

**Connor:** Done. I shall return when I have finished. 

 

~

 

**Connor:** EVAN WHAT THE FUCK MAN.

 

**Connor:** IM CRYING.

 

**Connor:** I HAVEN’T CRIED THIS HARD SINCE I WAS IN SIXTH FUCKING GRADE.

 

**Connor:** THE ENDING WAS EVERYTHING I COULD HAVE WANTED AND WHAT I HOPE FOR.

 

**Connor:** AND WHEN PHIL SAID THE LINE I LOST MY SHIT. 

 

**Connor:** I LET OUT A SOB SO LOUD ZOE CAME TO MY ROOM TO CHECK UP ON ME. 

 

**Connor:** AND WHEN SHE SAW I WAS SOBBING, SHE CLIMBED INTO MY BED AND JUST FUCKING HELD ME AND LET ME CRY LIKE A BABY AND THEN WHEN I CALMED DOWN SHE DID THAT THING WHERE SHE LOOKS AT YOU ALL SWEET AND CARING AND SAID “what’s wrong big brother?” AND I CRIED MORE BECAUSE SHE IS SUCH A GOOD EGG AND I LOVE HER SO MUCH AND I EXPLAINED THE REASON I WAS CRYING SHE FUCKING LAUGHED AND SAID “BIG MOOD” AND ThEN HUGGED ME LONGER.

 

**Connor:** WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS.

 

**Evan:** BITCH THAT IS SO SWEET.

 

**Evan:** WE STAN ZOE IN THIS HOUSE.

 

**Evan:** ALSO RIGHT?? IT WAS SO GOOD? 

 

**Connor:** UH YES?? I AM WEEPING BITCH.

  
**Evan:** As Zoe once said, “BIG MOOD.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you are well fed. kudos and comments keep me going. i adore you, as usual. i'll see u babs on tuesday.


	9. Your Rapper Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan has to talk to the class. Connor wants a TED talk. Evan is now a rapper too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! i hope you laugh! so i have a question at the end for y'all so please answer! it effect u, me, and the future of Wrong Number (Not Again)

 

**Connor:** I just saw a tweet and I’m cry laughing.

 

**Connor:** It said “I just saw Phil Lester on the street, so i went up to say hi and he said “just breath,” pushed me into moving traffic and RAN.

 

**Connor:** THEY WERE MAKING FUN OF HOW THEY MISSPELT BREATHE AT THE MEET AND GREET.

 

**Connor:** I AM WHEEZING.

 

**Evan:** SKKSKS MY MUTUAL TWEETED THAT AND I SPIT MY COKE OUT.

 

**Connor:** SMH DRUGS ARE BAD EVAN. 

 

**Evan:** BOI WHAT THE.

 

**Connor:** Oh wait you can’t spit something that was in your nose. NVM.

 

**Evan:** HAHA BI T C H.

 

**Connor:** UM OWW?? MY HEART?? I AM A FRAGILE PERSON. 

 

**Evan:** BitCH WHATEVER.

 

**Evan:** Also please send help my english teacher is trying to make me go up in front of the whole ass class and present my poem that made her cry. SHE KNOWS I HAVE SOCIAL ANXIETY WHY TH E FUCK IS SHE DOING THIS TO ME. 

 

**Evan:** Deadass I’m about to cry in front of all these hoes. 

 

**Connor:** Ew I’m sorry man :(( sending hugs and love

 

**Connor:** I’m sure you will do great!

 

**Connor:** Also my teacher does that exact shit, but with my art, like bitch I don’t even wanna be in school, and that is how I get away from school at school??? 

 

**Connor:** aLSO ITS LIKE PRIVATE LIKE BOI WHAT THE.

 

**Evan:** A BIG MOOD IS ME SAYING “you don’t get it, I will not read this, itS ToO GAY MISS! THEY ARE GONNA MAKE FUN OF ME!” and then the whole class hearing me. 

 

**Connor:** KSKKSKSK

 

**Connor:** I JUST HEARD THE CLASS NEXT TO MINE ERUPT IN LAUGHTER I WANNA BE THERE.

 

**Evan:** SKSKSK MOOD BC MY CLASS IS FUCKING LAUGHiNG AT ME. 

 

**Connor:** IMAGINE IF I WAS IN THE OTHER CLASS LMAO.

 

**Evan:** SOME DUMBASSES WE WOULD HAVE TO BE.

 

**Connor:** True.

 

**Evan:** Anyways brb I gotta go fucking say this speech.

 

**Evan:** I’m gonna end it with “thank you for coming to my ted talk.”

 

**Connor:** BITC H FUCKING DO IT I WILL PAYPAL U $100 TO DO THAT SHIT.

 

**Evan:** I WOULD ACCEPT FOR THE MONEY BUT I CAN’T LMAO.

 

**Connor:** The class next to mine won’t shut up?? Are they okay??

 

**Evan:** I hope they aren’t dying laughing at me like my class is. 

 

**Connor:** THE TEACHER JUST THREATENED TO TAKE MY AIRPODS FUCK OFF BITCH THEY COST MORE THAN UR HOUSE.

 

**Evan:** Okay lil tay.

 

**Connor:** Damn you drop bars.

 

**Connor:** Introducing the next famous rapper…

 

**Connor:** Drum roll please!

 

**Evan:** *aggressively taps fingers on desk*

 

**Connor:** DONUT MASTERRRRR

 

**Evan:** I???

 

**Evan:** Hate you. 

 

**Connor:** NO! BBY ILY??? NOT AGAIN DON’T LEAVE!!

 

**Evan:** I think my rapper name would be lil lost dad tbh..

 

**Connor:** SKKSKS FUCK U I JUST GOT IN TROUBLE BECAUSE I LAUGHED OUT LOUD IM DEAD.  

 

**Evan:** Thank you I will be here the rest of your life!

 

**Connor:** UWU

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i said that i would upload every tues, thrus, and sat, but i wanna know if you guys would rather me upload twice a week rather than three times so that the chapters are longer? so maybe like monday and friday? just so i have more time to write and so you guys have more to read! tell me what you think in the comments. as always i adore you. kudos and comments keep me going.


	10. His Wife Made Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared enters to soon exit. Connor wants a sugar daddy. Evan has one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys! so i have decided twice a week for updates! i'm gonna do monday and saturdays! (starting next week! so i this is the last chapter for the week) and maybe i will post in the middle if i really want! anyways i hope u laugh, im sorry that jared is a dick.

 

**Jared:** hey we havent talked in forever

 

**Jared:** ur all smiley lately

 

**Jared:** whats with u??

 

**Evan:** Nothing? Why do you care? You literally pushed me down on the ground in front of your friends because they dared you to do it. 

 

**Evan:** Fuck off. 

 

**Jared:** jeusus calm the fuck down it was a joke

 

**Jared:** u should learn how to take one

 

**Jared:** no wonder why no one wants to be ur friend

 

**Evan:** I’m so done with your shit. Just fuck off already. You don’t have to pretend to be my friend anymore, we both know it was all some stupid ass bet. 

 

**Jared:** maybe i will

 

**Jared:** i never liked ur sorry ass anyways

 

**Jared:** :)

 

~

 

**Evan:** Tell me why the fuck Jared is texting me this morning acting like he cares when he deadass pushed me in front of his group of friends for a dare so they would like him more??

 

**Connor:** I will fucking kill a bitch. 

 

**Evan:** Dw I took care of it. I just now have no irl friends. 

 

**Connor:** But you shouldn’t have to deal with that :(( ily. 

 

**Connor:** Plus I don’t have any irls either. 

 

**Connor:** Loners forever babe. 

 

**Evan:** I don’t think that is a good thing???

 

**Evan:** Also I think you meant bab.

 

**Connor:** Maybe bab will be our always. 

 

**Evan:** Bab. 

 

**Connor:** Bab.

 

**Connor:** But Ev, I’m deadass serious just gimmie his number and I’ll take care of it. 

 

**Evan:** What are you even gonna do lmao??

 

**Connor:** Kill him? 

 

**Evan:** Okay so for sure, never, ever, eVER, giving you his number.

 

**Connor:** But bab.

 

**Evan:** Bab. You can’t text me in prison. 

 

**Connor:** Shit you’re right. 

 

**Connor:** I can hire a hitman?? I didn’t do the crime so thereforth I can’t do the time. 

 

**Evan:** ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

**Evan:** I hate that you managed to fucking rhyme????

 

**Connor:** Shit maybe I’m the next rap sensation?

 

**Evan:** Lil found Mansion ft. Expensive carpet

 

**Connor:** That’s perfect??? I’m gonna use that as my bio now. Thanks bab.

 

**Evan:** Bitch so my mom just asked me if I wanted to go shopping for clothes????

 

**Connor:** Okay???

 

**Evan:** Dude that never happens. We arE POOR.

 

**Connor:** Oh. 

 

**Connor:** Where are y’all going?

 

**Evan:** Ross’s I fucking hope. 

 

**Evan:** THE FUCKING MALL????????????????????????????????????????

 

**Evan:** SHE SAYS SHE’S BUYING ME BRAND NEW SHOES?????????????????????

 

**Evan:** DID WE WIN THE LOTTERY???????????????????????????????????????

 

**Evan:** SKSKKS MY DAD PUT $450 ON THE CHILD SUPPORT CARD BECAUSE HIS WIFE MADE HIM SKJSKKSKS WHEEZE. 

 

**Evan:** USUALLY HE PUTS $12 A MONTH. 

 

**Connor:** Damn can I have a sugar daddy?

 

**Evan:** I don’t think this counts since he’s actually my dad???

 

**Connor:** He’s not mine though ;)))))))

 

**Evan:** byE MOTHER FUCKER   
  


**Connor:** BAB NO.

 

**Evan:** BAB YES.

 

**Evan:** I’ll send u pics of all the stuff I get or debate getting.

  
**Connor:** Okay then bab. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments keep me going, as always, i adore you, and i will see you on monday.


	11. Interactive Introverts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan goes shopping. Connor? Is deceased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so ii is dnp world tour that is happening atm lmao.
> 
> also holy shit im feeding y'all today!

**Evan:** Wait are you going to ii???

 

**Connor:** I went to a show that wasn’t in my state bc we were out of town lmao. 

 

**Connor:** And the closest show to me is like seven hours away :/

 

**Evan:** LITERALLY I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE HAVING THAT PROBLEM.

 

**Evan:** I went to tatinof, bc they like came here, but for ii they are so f a r. 

 

**Evan:** anD I WANNA MEET THEM SO BAD.

 

**Evan:** LIKE SKKSKS DADS. 

 

**Connor:** bIG MOOD. 

 

**Connor:** Are you gonna drive up there??

 

**Evan:** Probably lmao. 

 

**Evan:** My mom already took off work for three days, so we can leave the day before and the day after. 

 

**Evan:** And I did get FUCKING VIP BITCH. 

 

**Evan:** Like I had saved up a shit ton of many since tatinof (so that’s literally 3 years worth of saving lmao) bc I didn’t meet them then. Not gonna miss that shit this time with their fucking glow up. I mean have u seen Phil’s fucking quiff?? And DAN’S FUCKING HAIR??????? MY BOI’S KILL ME. 

 

**Connor:** bITCH YOU GOTTA SAY HI FOR ME.

 

**Connor:** PLEASE.

 

**Evan:** DUDE WHAT IF I PRINT OUT A PIC OF U AND THEY TAKE A PIC WITH IT AND SIGN IT FOR U??????

 

**Connor:** Bitch if u actually,,,, I’m gonna fucking cry. 

 

**Evan:** AND IN MY VID (I’m recording meeting them DUH) I can get them to say hi?

  
**Connor:** _ Twelve (12) Images Attached _

 

**Connor:** I’m fucking sobbing. 

 

**Connor:** If you actually do I’m gonna cry. 

 

**Connor:** You don’t have too. 

 

**Connor:** Really. 

 

**Connor:** Ik you have anxiety, and you’re gonna be freaking out enough, you don’t have too. 

 

**Evan:**  NO BAB DON’T CRY.

 

**Evan:** And Bitch I wouldn’t offer if I couldn’t, I’m literally offering. Ofc I’m gonna do this. 

 

**Evan:** Anything for u bab. 

 

**Connor:** bAB. IM CRYING STOP. 

 

**Evan:** _ One (1) Image Attached _

 

**Evan:** Should I buy this shirt and these shoes for ii?? They match??

 

**Connor:** WHAT PANTS ARE U GONNA WEAR?

 

**Evan:** Black ripped skinny jeans?? DUh??

 

**Connor:** KSKSKS TIMES THE RED, WHITE, AND BLACK STRIPED SHIRT, anD THE FUCKING ALL BLACK HIGH TOPS???

 

**Evan:** Yeah exactly. 

 

**Connor:** I WAANNT TO DIE.

 

**Connor:** UR SO CUTE.

 

**Connor:** BUY IT.

 

**Connor:** ALSO I HOPE U BUY THE HOODIE BC ITS GONNA LOOK SO CUTE ON U.   
  


**Connor:** I bought basically everything expect like the bag lmao.

 

**Evan:** OKOK THANKS BAB.

 

**Evan:** AND DUH IM BUYING THE HOODIE. I LOVE HOODIES, AND I’M GETTING ALL THE SHIRTS TOO. 

 

**Connor:** BITCH U HAVE TO SEND ME A PIC OF THE OUTFIT WHEN U GET HOME. AND SKKSKS WE CAN MATCH.

 

**Evan:** BITCH I WAS PLANNING ON IT????? AND YES BITCH TWINS.    
  


**Connor:** *cries tears of joy*

 

**Evan:** LSLKSKSKLSLS

 

~   
  
**Evan:** Watermelon or Strawberry??

 

**Connor:** Strawberry. 

 

**Evan:** Honey or Ultra?

 

**Connor:** Honey??

 

**Connor:** What does this mean?? Is it code for something????

 

**Evan:** No, you’re just helping me pick out which chapstick I’m buying.

 

**Evan:** Also should I buy this pineapple curl shit for my hair??

 

**Evan:** Curly hair is so hard to manage and like I want to look fucking popping for ii. 

 

**Connor:** KSKSKS I LOVE UR HAIR SO MUCH.

 

**Connor:** I JUST WANNA RUN MY HANDS THROUGH IT??

 

**Evan:** Mate that was gay. 

 

**Connor:** YOU AND DAN ARE MMYY FAVORITE CURLY BOI’S. 

 

**Evan:** BAB KSKSKSS.

 

**Connor:** AND YES BUY THE PINEAPPLE STUFF.

 

**Evan:** SKKSKS OKAY.

 

**Connor:** IM READY FOR A HAUL WHEN U COME HOME.   
  


**Evan:** YES BITCH. 

 

**Connor:** Did you wanna??? Facetime??

 

**Evan:** I fucking wish, but it’s gonna have to be a pic haul bc my mom is having Jared (fucking rolls eyes to the back of my literal fucking head) and his mom come over for dinner. So that means he’s spending the night. 

 

**Connor:** UGH BUT I WANNA TALK TALK TO U.

 

**Evan:** SOON!   
  


**Connor:** But,,,,,,,, EV,,,,,,,, IT’S BEEN TH R E E LITERAL FUCKING MONTHS.

 

**Evan:** KKSKS WHY HAVEN’T WE MENTIONED FACETIMING LIKE EVER???

 

**Connor:** BC WE S U C K.

 

**Evan:** How AboUT TOMORROW??

 

**Connor:** Works for me. 

 

**Evan:** What time?

 

**Connor:** Any time, except when I’m in the restroom.

 

**Evan:** I’m telling you that one day there is gonna be an emergency and UR GONNA BE S C RE WED. 

 

**Evan:** WhAT IF I CALL… AND UR IN THE BATHROOM???

 

**Connor:** BA B YOU WOULDn’T.

 

**Evan:** OR WOULD I.

 

**Connor:** I FEEL THREATENED U HOE.

 

**Connor:** I LOVE YOU YOU CRUSTY DUSTY BITCH.

 

**Evan:** You express ur love in weird ways.

 

**Connor:** FUCK OFF and just love me. 

 

**Evan:** ;0

 

**Connor:** Okay so like 12 pm??

 

**Evan:** I love how we are deadass just planning this when I can just fACETIME U AT ANY MOMENT AND U WOULDn’T KNOW WHAT HIT U.

 

**Connor:** IF U DID THAT I WOULD HAVE A HEART ATTACK BC I NEED WARNING.

 

**Connor:** Zoe may have to call an ambulance if u finesse me like that.

 

**Evan:** How I imagine it would go if I just called you:

 

Zoe: connor why are u crying so much??

 

Zoe: whY ARE U ON THE FLOOR???

 

U: CALL AN AMBULANCE HIS FACE?? IS SO?? PRETTY???

 

Zoe: WHO IS THAT ON THE PHONE?? WHO IS SO PRETTY???

 

Me: Hi zoe! 

 

Zoe and I converse and then you die. 

 

**Connor:** I hate you. I also hate that it’s accurate. I’m gonna die. When I talk to you. I love your face. 

 

**Connor:** I’m gonna be a mess.

 

**Evan:** Me too tbh. aND SKSKS STOP IM BLUSHING.

 

**Evan:** Just a warning I am so much less confident irl and I have a stutter and iTS SO BAD. 

 

**Connor:** KKSKS BAB I DON’T CARE I JUST WANNA TALK TO yOU. AND I AM DEAD.

 

**Connor:** If it makes you feel better you can literally hang up the moment you start to feel anxious? 

 

**Connor:** That or we can start by just sending voice memos??

 

**Connor:** Or we can just facetime and say hi and then hang up?

 

**Connor:** Or we can just do it another time?

 

**Evan:** KSKSKS stop ur being too sweet. I’ll be fine! I wanna talk to you anyways :D

 

**Connor:** IM HAVING BREATHING PROBLEMS.

 

**Evan:** KSKSKSKKS MOOD BC LITERALLY SAME BYE I CAN’T WAIT TO TALK TO U.

 

**Evan:** THE HAUL IS COMING SOON BTW!

 

**Connor:** FUCKING HELL IM SO READY TO BUTTER THESE BISCUITS. U R THE JELLY TO MY BUTTER BC I AM ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS SO BYE.

 

**Evan:** U express love in a weird way. AND KSKSSK WHAT THE FUCK THAT IS SO SAD.

 

**Connor:** nO HOMO. anD IK LIKE WHAT IS THE HYPE WITH PEANUT BUTTER CUPS?? I WILL NEVER KNOW.

 

**Evan:** Whatever you say “I JUST WANNA RUN MY HANDS THROUGH IT??” boi AND SKSKKS I DON’T LIKE THEM TBH NOT WORTH THE HYPE.

 

**Connor:** ;) 

 

**Connor:** anD glad I’m not missing anything. 

 

~

 

**Evan:** HAuL BICTH.

 

**Evan:** So first I bought five chapsticks.

 

**Evan:** DOn’T FUCKING JUDGE ME. I LOVE CHAPSTICK AND NOTHING WORKS FOR ME. 

 

**Connor:** SKKSKSKS WHAT THE FUCK EV.

 

**Evan:** _ One (1) Image Attached _

 

**Connor:** OH UR ABOUT THAT NIVEA GRIND.

 

**Evan:** I ended up buying all the ones I asked u to choose, and an extra honey one :)

 

**Connor:** I CAN SEE THAT.

 

**Connor:** U CHAPSTICK WHORE.

 

**Evan:** U know it :D

 

**Evan:** Then I bought the high tops that are all black from vans, and the black, red, and white shirt. 

 

**Evan:** You already know what it looks like but here’s me with it on.

 

**Evan:** _ One (1) Image Attached _

 

**Connor:** IM FUCKING DECEASED.

 

**Connor:** HOW CAN ONE PERSON B E THIS FUCKING CUTE??   
  


**Connor:** I’M GONNA DIE WHEN UR NEXT TO DNP BYE BITCH.

 

**Evan:** But,,,, my haul isn’t over….. bAB.

 

**Connor:** I WASN’T LEAVING FOR REAL.

 

**Evan:** IK KSKSKS.

 

**Evan:** Then I bought that pineapple curl stuff for my hair.

 

**Evan:** _ One (1) Image Attached _

 

**Evan:** IT REALLY WORKS AND DEFINES MY CURLS A LOT WTF????

 

**Connor:** THEY LOOK SO SOFT I’M CRYING.

 

**Evan:**  Then I bought Harmony a bunch of cat toys bc she’s my bby.

 

**Evan:** _ One (1) Image Attached _

 

**Connor:** SKSKKSKS WE LOVE A DAD.

 

**Evan:** AND THAT’S IT MY MOM IS CALLING ME FOR DINNER AND THAT MEANS JARED IS HERE SO I GTG HID E ME AND MY PHONE BYE BBY.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope u liked it! kudos and comments keep me going, as always i adore u, and i will see u on saturday.


	12. Fucking Idiots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys realize some stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys! so i can't upload on saturday so here i am!

 

**Evan:**  My mom just made homemade gelato. I’m deceased. 

 

**Evan:** It’s so good and creamy and chocolatey.

 

**Evan:** hOLY shIT IT’s so GOoD.

 

**Connor:** Are you literally having an organsm rn???

 

**Evan:** Tbh yeah. 

 

**Connor:** I would die for any gelato tbh. My sweet tooth?? Out of fucking control. My dentist?? Hates me. Me? LIVING.

 

**Evan:** Same.

 

**Connor:** bITCH WHEN ARE WE FACETIMING??????

 

**Evan:** soOONN

 

**Connor:** You know what I just realized?? I don’t even know what country you live in???

 

**Evan:** SKSKSK OMFG.

 

**Evan:** AMERICA LMAO.

 

**Connor:** KKSKKSKS SAME.

 

**Connor:** WHEREIN AMERICA???

 

**Evan:** ohIO.

 

**Connor:** UR KIDDING???????

 

**Evan:** why WOULD I KID ABOUT OHIO I HATE THIS JAKE PAUL LOGAN PAUL HELL HOLE.

 

**Connor:** EVAN.

 

**Evan:** CONNOR.

 

**Connor:** I LIVE IN OHIO.

 

**Evan:** SORRY WHAT??   
  


**Connor:** I LIVE IN O H I O.

 

**Evan:** SHUT THE FUCK UP.

 

**Connor:** tHE FUCK DO U MEAN.

 

**Connor:** biTCH WE LIVE IN THE SAME STATE I CAN’T BREATHE SKSKSKSKSKS.

 

**Evan:** i cant believe this. 

 

**Evan:** i cant even bring myself to even capitalize or care about my spelling. im too fucking astonished. 

 

**Connor:** Can I just ask something?

 

**Evan:** Yeah??

 

**Connor:** By any chance, at all, do you live in Cincinnati???????????????????

 

**Evan:** Now you’re just fucking with me.

 

**Connor:** wDYM?? THAT’S WHERE MY BITCH ASS LIVES.

 

**Evan:** SHUT THE FUCK UP.

 

**Evan:** UR LYING.

 

**Connor:** Ev,,,, why,,,,would,,,,i....lie,,,,about,,,,where,,, i  li v e???

 

**Evan:** tRUE LMAO.

 

**Evan:** wait………………….. whaT THE FUCK.

 

**Evan:** WE COULD LITERALLY MEET??????

 

**Connor:** bRO WHAT IF WE GO TO THE SAME FUCKING SCHOOL??   
  


**Evan:** KSKSKSKSKSK biTCH I CAN’T HANDLE THIS SHIT.

 

**Connor:** wAIT BITCH WHAT SCHOOL DO U FUCKING GO TO ASSHOLE.

 

**Evan:** St. Nova’s (not the religious one but the one that was built to mock that one lmao)

 

**Connor:** WHAT IS UR BIO TEACHERS NAME???

 

**Evan:** Mr. Regan???

 

**Connor:** AND UR ENGLISH TEACHER??

 

**Evan:** Mrs. Ross???   
  


**Evan:** WHY THE FUCK ARE U ASKING ME ALL THESE QUESTIONS???

 

**Connor:** I HATE US.

 

**Connor:** EVaN WE DEADASS GO TO THE SAME FUCKING SCHOOL.

 

**Evan:** SHUT THE FUCK UP.   
  


**Evan:** WHO ARE THE TWO MOST POPULAR KIDS AT SCHOOL??

 

**Connor:** Neil and Abby??

 

**Evan:** OMGF WE GO TO THE SAME FUCKING SCHOOL.

 

**Connor:** HOW THE FUCK DIDN’T WE KNOW THIS??? 

 

**Connor:** HOW HAVE WE NEVER EVER SEEN EACH OTHER AT SCHOOL???

 

**Connor:** LIKE EVER????

 

**Evan:** I DON’T KNOW??

 

**Connor:** WAIT SO WHEN I HEARD THOSE KIDS LAUGHING NEXT DOOR? THEY WERE LAUGHING AT YOU??

 

**Evan:** OMFG OUR THIRD PERIODS?? ARE NEXT TO EACH OTHER??   
  


**Connor:** BITCh TEHRE WAS SO MANY COINCIDENCES AND WE NEVER PUT ANY OF IT TOGETHER WHAT THE FUCK?????

 

**Evan:** WE ARE SO FUCKING DUMB??

 

**Connor:** I SERIUOUSLY WANNA KNOW HOW WE HAVE NEVER EVER RAN INTO EACH OTHER AT LEAST ONCE??

 

**Evan:** WTF??

 

**Connor:** WaIT SO JARED IS JARED KLEINMAN???? THAT ASSHAT??

 

**Evan:** yeah???

 

**Connor:** waIT AND HE PUSHED YOU WHEN??

 

**Evan:** oN MONDAY??

 

**Connor:** waiT WERE THEY IN A CIRCLE IN FRONT OF THE YELLOW LOCKERS AND THE WATER FOUNTAIN???

 

**Evan:** YEAH???

 

**Connor:** I HEARD IT HAPPEN BUT I LIKE WAS RUNNING LATE AND HAD TO GIVE THE OFFICE LADY MY DUMBASS TARDY SLIP.

 

**Connor:** I SHOULD HAVE FUCKING INVESTIGATED AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYONE.

 

**Evan:** oH mY GOD.

 

**Evan:** WE ARE A FUCKING WHEEL OF MISSED OPPORTUNITIES IM SO DONE WITH US BEING SO FUCKING DUMB. 

 

**Connor:** wAIT CAN U SEEK OUT RN??

 

**Evan:** I’m home alone now so yeah?? 

 

**Evan:** whAT ARE U PLANNING.

 

**Connor:** Gimme ur address and then wait outside?

 

**Evan:** So we are just totally fucking the facetime over and are instead just meeting in ur car????

 

**Evan:** Sounds kinky ;)))))))

 

**Connor:** Ev sTOOPPP. 

 

**Connor:** no i thoUGHT WE COULD GO TO THE BOOKSHOP BITCH. 

 

**Evan:** wAIT NOW I HAVE TO GET DRESSED?? 

 

**Connor:** or wear nothing ;)))

 

**Evan:** uM I’m suddenly wearing layers you nasty biTCH.

 

**Connor:** It’s like 90 degrees??

 

**Evan:** Fashion is all about sacrifice. 

 

**Connor:** ????????????? I’m just gonna wear my dnp merch. 

 

**Connor:** Fuck fashion man.

 

**Evan:** ksksslskks wOW.

 

**Connor:** I WOULD RATHER BE COLD THAN HOT AND THAT IS FINAL.

 

**Connor:** LIKE I ALWAYS HAVE A HOODIE IN MY CAR AND IN MY BAG AT ALL TIMES BUT BITCH I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN WEAR IT WHEN IT’S AS HOT AS SATANS ASSHOLE.

 

**Evan:** I’m always in long sleeves or flannels lmao. 

 

**Connor:** I’m gonna die when I see u irl??   
  


**Evan:** We could have facetimed then met, but no someone called Connor really just wants to test the waters.

 

**Connor:** ;00

 

**Connor:** I also can’t go anywhere until u give me ur address???

 

**Evan:** Lmao oh shit I forgot about that.

 

**Evan:** 2738 Maple Street.

 

**Connor:** Bro I was just imagining you being like here’s my address and then  me being like u LIVE NEXT DOOR WTF.

 

**Evan:** biTCH U LIVE IN A MANSION??   
  


**Connor:** nOT A MANSION. 

 

**Evan:** I cALL TOTAL BULLSHIT.

 

**Evan:** CA N I BRING HARMONY??   
  


**Connor:** eVAN WE ARE GOING TO A BOOK STO  R E .

 

**Evan:** Ik buT WHAT IF IT’S AWKWARD??????????????

 

**Evan:** SKKSKS

 

**Connor:** hOLD ON I’M CALL UR DUMBASS HOLD ON.

 

~  

 

**Evan:** Okay then I guess it won’t be awkward.

 

**Connor:** WE WERE JUST ON THE PHONE FOR THREE FUCKING HOURS I WOULD HOPE IT WOULDN’T BE AWKWARD. 

 

**Evan:** HOW DID U MANAGE TO FUCKING TRIP DOWN THE STAIRS?

 

**Evan:** AND WHY WAS UR FIRST INSTINCT TO FUCKING SAY “STOP I COULDA DROPPED MY CROISSANT” 

 

**Connor:** TEH REAL QUESTION IS WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LITERALLY CHOKE ON UR DRINK WHEN I DID THAT.

 

**Connor:** YOU COUGHED FOR LIKE TWO WHOLE ASS MINUTES AFTERWARDS. 

 

**Evan:** SHUT UP.

 

**Evan:** UR THE ONE WHO TRIPPED U BITCH.

 

**Connor:** SAYS THE ONE WHO CHOKED. 

 

**Evan:** WhaTEVER.

 

**Evan:** whEN ARE YOU COMING IM BOR E D.

  
**Connor:** omw biTCH.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you liked it, comments and kudos keep me going, i adore you, as usual.


	13. I Thought They Just Blew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor and Evan meet up. Connor wants to marry Evan.
> 
>  
> 
> FAN ART BY THE LOVELY Angelcraft1010: https://www.wattpad.com/614886594-art-book-wow-original-yeet (I CRIED WHEN I SAW IT)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys! so this has some text and some actual like word words you know lmao. So last night I wrote nine pages because i remembered i had to update sksksk im sorry i am very forgetful sometimes. There are now gonna be parts where there is just all text and some with all story depending on what happens! i hope you laugh as usual! enjoy!

 

Connor was nervous to say the least. See, from the moment he had started talking to Evan, he wanted to meet him with his whole heart. The only problem? Well they were internet friends and most times you don’t even live in the same country. Also another problem? Connor knew he was a dumbass but he never knew he was that much of a dumbass sometimes. You would think he and Evan would have put together some coincidences, but no they both turned out to be the most oblivious people in the world. What a pairing.

 

Connor walked out of his house, or mansion as Evan often referred to it. He told Zoe and his mother he was going out, but only Zoe had an idea of where Connor would be. Like Connor was just gonna casually mention he is meeting a stranger he was talking to for three months online. To his mother. Yeah hell no.

 

Connor unlocked the car and slid into the seat, shut his door, and started the car.

 

~

 

 **Evan:** when i was younger,,,, i used to think that when someone would give a blowjob they would go down and just… blow. oN tHEIR DICK.

 

 **Connor:** what the fuck

 

 **Connor:** IM TURNING MY CAR AROUND RIGHT ABOUT NOW AND IM GOING HOME I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS INFORMATION WHAT THE FUCK EVAN.

 

 **Evan:** I just remembered that and I couldn’t stop laughing sksksks.

 

 **Evan:** AND BITCH I F U FUCKING DO THAT I WILL FIND U AT SCHOOL AND FUCKING END YOU.

 

 **Evan:** I AM NOT A PUSSY WHEN IT COMES TO FUCKING ENDING PEOPLE.

 

 **Connor:** did u just,,,,,,, admit,,,, to ,,,,,murder??????????????????

 

 **Evan:** uR PUTTING WORDS INTO MY MOUTH.

 

 **Connor:** weLL OBVIOUSLY IT’S NOT GONNA BE A DICK BC APPARENTLY U JUST FUCKING BLOW ON THAT SHIT.

 

 **Evan:** THIS IS BULLYING.

 

 **Connor:** FUCK OFF.

 

 **Evan:** iM SCARED.

 

 **Connor:** of????

 

 **Evan:** doGS. UH WTF DO U THINK???

 

 **Connor:** Ur afraid of dogs??? Why???

 

 **Evan:** I WAS BEING SARCASTIC U LITTLE BITCH.

 

 **Connor:** hEY I AINT LITTLE U FUCKER.

 

 **Evan:** IM AFRAID OF MEETING U DUMBASS.

 

 **Connor:** oH

  
**Connor:** lmao SAME THOUGH.

 

 **Connor:** Meeting u THAT IS NOT MEETING ME I MET ME A LONG TIME AGO.

 

 **Connor:** aLSO WAIT HOW TALL ARE U?

 

 **Connor:** I’m like 6’0

 

 **Evan:** Yeah fucking drive home.

 

 **Evan:** IM 5’10

 

 **Connor:** FUCKING LOSER ASS BITCH.

 

 **Evan:** ……………………………………..

 

 **Connor:** IM IN UR DRIVEWAY.

 

 **Connor:** dO I RING THE DOORBELL??? DO I GET OUT OF THE CAR???? DO I HUG YOU??? WHAT DO I DO????????????????????????????????????????

 

 **Evan:** StarT BY CHILLING THE FUCK OUT BC UR MAKING M E MORE ANXIOUS.

 

 **Evan:** I GUESS I WILL JUST WALK OUTTA THE HOUSE aND U GET OUTTA THE CAR AND WE WILL HAVE THE GAYEST HUG oF ALL TIME.

  
**Connor:** weLL THAT WORKS FOR ME.

 

~

 

 

Evan had truly no idea what the hell was about to go down in this moment. He said goodbye to Harmony and shut his bedroom door, and then basically ran to the front door, eager to finally meet Connor for the first time ever. Evan had never even thought for a second that he and Connor would live in the same state, let alone the same city.

 

He finally got to the door and paused before he opened the door. Because what if Connor was a murderer? What if he was going to kidnap him instead of taking him to the book store? What if he isn’t actually Connor and he is some eighty five year old man that trolled him?

 

Evan finally pushed all his negative thoughts away and opened the door, and as soon as he opened the door he was hit with awe because Connor was just making his way toward the porch.

 

Connor was real! He was actually who he said he was. And he was on Evan’s porch ten fucking feet away from Evan.

 

Evan rushed to shut his front door, and then Connor and his eyes met, and Evan was eloped into a warm hug. Connor was a lot taller than Evan so he rested his head on top of Evan’s and gripped him like he was going to evaporate into the air if he released his grip even the slightest.

 

Slowly and hesitantly Connor let go of Evan.

 

“I still can’t believe you fucking thought when someone gave someone else a blowjob you just blew on their dick. What the fuck were you thinking back then?” Connor laughed.

 

“Wow and here I was terrified that this was gonna be awkward as hell.” Evan said.

 

“Nope. Just like we are texting irl.” Connor laughed and led Evan to his car in the driveway.

 

“Did you just say irl outloud?” Evan said as he got into the car.

 

“Uh you heard me don’t play dumb you spoon.”

 

“I cannot believe this slander. I’m calling the police for kidnapping.”

 

“Technically it was consensual kidnapping, but go off I guess Ev.”

 

Connor put his keys into the car and started the engine, and begun to reverse out of the parking lot.

 

“Can you try not to reverse into my mailbox?” Evan asked.

 

Connor stopped reversing the car and turned to look at Evan.

 

“What the actual fuck. Who has reversed into your mailbox that you literally have to fucking ask me not to?”

 

“It’s a long story, there was a block party, and a lot of drunk adults.” Evan cringed at the memory.

 

“Okay then let’s go to this fucking bookstore bitch. I need to buy the 20th anniversary edition of Harry Potter.”

 

“Oh and I’m the spoon?” Evan laughed and faked a hurt face. Connor raised his eyebrows and just laughed at Evan like they had always been doing this all along. It was nice and it was simple. Something Evan had always wanted.

 

“Yes, you will forever be my spoon bab.”

 

“Mate that was gay.”

 

“Evan it was supposed to be!”

 

~

 

Ten minutes and a shit ton of banter later, Connor and Evan had finally arrived at the bookstore.

 

Connor had never in his whole life been so struck with a person like he was with Evan. Everything just worked, and they got on so well. Connor wondered just how long he could have went without having a friend like Evan.

 

Evan and him ended up browsing through every single aisle and joked about so much he couldn’t even remember what they joked about. Eventually they ended up getting kicked out of the store, not because they were being too loud. (Yeah Connor was surprised too because they were acting like such shit heads by being so loud, but they couldn’t help it.) But they ended up getting kicked out because the two of them had ended up losing track of time and the store was closing and they were the last customers left in the store.

 

Connor learned that since he could never touch even while they were internet friends made him want to just be constantly touching Evan. So that’s exactly what he did. They held hands the whole time, because Evan seemed to pick up on the fact Connor was constantly coming up with excuses to just make any contact with him at all. So Evan had just looked up at Connor and asked if he wanted to hold his hand and Connor didn’t hesitate a fucking second.

 

When they had gotten into the car it was only eight so they still had time to hang out since Evan had to be home at ten, and well Connor had to be at home to go make sure Zoe was ready for school, and to make sure he was ready for school, because well he wasn’t the most organized person. Okay he wasn’t organized in the fucking slightest but he tried his best.

 

“Connor, this is a serious question.” Evan spoke from the passenger's seat.

 

“What’s up bab?”

 

“Can we please get snow cones?” Connor looked at Evan while they were at a stop sign and Evan made his eyes really wide and pouted his lips at Connor. Did he talk to Zoe about how to guilt trip him before he met up with him?   

 

“Well how the fuck am I supposed to say no, when you’re making that fucking face at me? Now, if I say no I’m just gonna feel like an asshole. Seriously if you and Zoe ever decided to team up on me? I would be so fucked and so out of money.” Connor whined.

 

“Is that a yes?”

 

“Yes, it’s a yes.”

 

“YEE!”

 

“You did not.”

 

“I did bitch.”

 

“EVAN THERE ARE BABIES WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE!”

 

“There are no babies?”

 

“I’m the baby!”

 

“You’re older?”

 

“SHH.”

 

~

 

When Connor walked in the snow cone place with Evan, he immediately wanted to die. One, because there was a huge ass group of kids from their school. Two because they all turned and stared at him and Evan like they were on fire, and not holding hands, and three because the sign said they were out of his favorite flavor.

 

Personally the later was much more of a problem to Connor, because the homophobes could wait, but his taste buds? They could not. Connor was seriously starting to wonder how the fuck they ran out of banana syrup?

 

“Ev, sweetie, I’m gonna burst into tears.” Connor said, as they moved their way up in line. Some random blonde girl turned around looked at him and Evam and then proceeded to give them an ugly look.

 

“Ugh rude. Anyways bab why are you going to burst into tears? Who hurt you?” Evan asked, and Connor wanted to burst into tears for the fifth time that night, because Evan genuinely looked worried about Connor.

 

“Theydon’thavemyavoriteflavor.” Connor mumbled in hopes that Evan wouldn’t understand what he had said because he was embarrassed that he actually caused Evan to worry.

 

But Evan seemed to have understood him perfectly fine.

 

“Which is your favorite flavor? Because mine is out too.” Evan questioned.

 

“Banana.” Connor replied looking to the menu in hopes it would just reappear.

 

“Wait seriously? Because literally same.” Evan agreed.

 

They scanned the board again in hopes that the syrup had returned but there was no luck for either of them.

 

“Well I guess we are both gonna have to get a new flavor.”

 

“Oh yeah are we gonna eat in here or not? Because I promised Zoe that I would bring her something back and I don’t want her snow cone to melt.” Connor said.

 

“Well considering there’s a bunch of DICKS from our school, I think we should just get it to go?” Evan said emphasizing on “dicks” which caught the attention of the group from earlier that had laughed at them.

 

“Wow that was fucking bold. I could never. And okay that works, so when we get our stuff we are gonna drive to my house really quick so I can give Zoe her snow cone, because she likes it melted at a certain point and the drive is the exact point she likes, then I can drive you back home?” Connor rushed since they were up next in line.

 

“Oh wait what flavor are you getting?” Connor remembered he hadn't asked Evan what he wanted.

 

“Just a small plain coconut?”

 

Connor smiled at Evan for the millionth time that day and ordered Evan’s coconut, Zoe’s blue raspberry, and his own strawberry. He pulled out his money to pay, and denied Evan’s five times of insisting to pay for his snow cone even though it was only a dollar and fifty cents. Then he went to the counter and picked up the snow cones from the drink carrier that they had asked for, while Evan ran to grab spoons and napkins for them.

 

When they got into the car, Connor waited for Evan to buckle his seatbelt then handed him the snow cones, so he could buckle up and well drive, because he needed both hands to drive, because yes, Connor Murphy always drove with both hands on the wheel. No car accidents on his watch.

 

“Wait fuck. We have school tomorrow?” Evan asked.

 

“Uh yes? Did you forget?” Connor laughed at him while he pulled into his neighborhood.

 

“No I was just having a good time I forgot it wasn’t like break.” Evan said sincerely.

 

It was in that moment Connor’s whole fucking heart, brain, and body exploded and he decided he would fucking marry this boy no matter what happens.

 

“That was possibly the fucking nicest thing anyone has ever said to me in actual real words.” Connor said.

 

“That makes me sad? You deserve nice things bab.” Evan smiled and then shoved a spoonful of his snow cone in his mouth.

 

“I want you to know that you have single handedly melted my cold, cold, dead heart. Also bitch give me a spoonful of my snow cone.” Connor said.

 

Evan raised his eyebrows and Connor pointed at the spoon and then to his mouth hoping Evan would understand that he wanted him to feed him because he was driving.

 

“Oh you want me to feed you? That makes sense. I thought you just wanted me to hand you the snow cone while you attempted to eat and drive at the same time. You hi-key had me very worried their bab.” Evan rambled on while he got out a clean spoon from the cup holder of Connor’s car.

 

Evan scooped a spoonful of Connor’s snow cone into the spoon and carefully pushed it into his mouth.

 

“Thank you bab I was dying.” Connor said making a left down his street.

 

“No probl- HOLY SHIT IS THIS YOUR HOUSE BECAUSE IF IT IS I WAS SO FUCKING RIGHT ABOUT CALLING IT A MANSION YOU RICH BITCH.” Evan screamed as COnnor pulled into his own driveway.

 

“This is my house.” Connor said as he grabbed Zoe’s snow cone from Evan and his house key.

 

“More like your mansion. This thing is bigger than my future.”

 

“Evaaaannnn stoopppppp, okay I will be right back, I’m just gonna run this to Zoe really fast and then I will return.”

 

Connor shut the door to the car and ran to his front door, quickly unlocking it and stepping inside, to the dark, quite house.

 

“Zoe! Zo! Bo! Zo bo!” He called for his baby sister.

 

“I’m in my room Con!” Zoe yelled.

 

Hearing that he ran up the stairs, almost tripping over the second to last step, and opened Zoe’s door.

 

She was sitting at her desk doing math homework with her eyebrows crinkled how they do when she is concentrating really hard.

 

“Hey kiddo, I brought you back a blue raspberry snow cone.”

 

Zoe looked up from her homework and ran towards him, hugged him tight, and then took the snow cone from him.

 

“Thanks Con!” She smiled happily beginning to eat her bright blue snow cone.

 

“Zo bug, I have to take Evan home, but when I get back I can help you with your math homework okay? It looks like it’s giving you a hard time.” Connor said.

 

He hated to admit it but he wasn’t bad at math. He liked it because unlike anything else, it always had a solution, you just had to find it. And he liked know that there was always a solution even if that solution happened to be no solution.

 

“Ah thanks big brother! Drive safe.”

  


With that Connor hugged Zoe, kissed her forehead and sprinted down the stairs back to Evan. He made sure he locked the door by triple checking to see if it was locked and then ran to the car.

 

He opened the door and sat down.

 

“I have returned.”

 

“I can see that dork.” Evan giggled, and Connor died because of how cute Evan’s giggle was.

 

Connor put on his seatbelt and begun to drive his way to Evan’s house. He knew it was a waste of gas, trust him he knew because Evan had spent twelve minutes lecturing him about it. But if it bought him more time with Evan he would take what he could get.

 

“Okay so while you were gone I was thinking about school for two reasons. One because I forgot to do my trig homework, like not all of it but like the last two questions, and two because are we gonna hang out there?” Evan asked.

 

“Okay well one, if you want I can send you a picture of my trig because I finished it last thursday, and two is that even a question? Now we don’t have to be all alone and earlier we both figured out we have the same study hall, off period and lunch. Which is great because we can do all fuck nothing and no one will care. So yes bab we are going to hang out. I can even just pick you up, because it’s on the way.” Connor exclaimed, scared of the thought of not hanging out with Evan at school, now that he had a taste of someone who actually cared about him.

 

“Okay then, that was aggressive but YEE!” Evan cried.

 

Sadly Connor then pulled into Evan’s driveway and Evan had to leave. Evan leaned forward to hug Connor and then pulled away to smile brightly at Connor.

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow okay? Thank you for today bab. You’re the greatest.” And Connor melted again.

 

Connor waited for Evan to get inside and then started to drive back to his house. And holy shit, did Connor want to for once go to school tomorrow.

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments keep me going, i adore you, as usual. I will see you soon! (Probably next monday bc babes i wrote nine pages and need motivation and i probably won't get it till like sunday night at 11:59 pm skskk)


	14. Gaping Holes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor hates Bio. Evan has free period.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi y'all! so i know i didn't upload as early as usual, but i was burnt out from last chapter ;)))))))))))))

 

**Connor:** PLEASE BAIL ME OUT OF BIO.

 

**Evan:** Con no.

 

**Connor:** PLEASE JUST WALK IN AND SAY YOU NEED ME FOR SOMETHING.

 

**Connor:** IT’S NOT FAIR YOU GET TWO FREE PERIODS AND I ONLY GET ONE!

 

**Evan:** SHut up and pay attention. 

 

**Connor:** EV DO YOU WANT ME DEAD? BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT IS GONNA HAPPEN IF YOU DON’T BAIL ME OUT RIGHT NOW.

 

**Evan:** uGH FINE I can go ask the counselor for a fake excuse for you and I’ll go get you. 

 

**Connor:** The fact that you can just ask for a fake excuse raises so many questions but I’m not even gonna ask because i really don’t wanna see this gaping vagina. 

 

**Evan:** EW YOU’RE WATCHING THE BIRTH VID???

 

**Connor:** YEAH

 

**Evan:** I’M RUNNING NOW.

 

**Evan:** I will be there in five minutes tops. 

 

**Connor:** oH THANK FUCK. 

 

**Evan:** ;)

 

~ 

 

Connor swore that every single second that Evan wasn’t in the bio room bailing him out he lost ten years of his life. 

 

He absolutely did not want to see this gaping vagina. He always knew he was gay and he didn’t have any interest of seeing a gaping vagina push out a human. No that made him want to die. 

 

The door opened and there Evan was. His lord and savoir. His own personal angel. His pineapple smelling person he adored. 

 

“Hi Mr. Regan! Mrs. Nova needs to see Connor.” Evan said to the teacher holding up the pass Evan had somehow managed to get. 

 

Mr. Regan scanned the room for Connor, made eye contact with him and pointed to the door. Connor wasted no time and threw all his stuff in his messenger bag, which were mostly his art supplies, and ran to the door to meet Evan there. 

 

Evan held the door for Connor and gave Mr. Regan a final smile and wave. 

 

“You are such a kiss up.” Connor teased. 

 

“Oh shut up. Be glad I am that’s how I got you out of this horror show.” Evan said. 

 

“Yeah thanks for that btw.” Connor smiled and hugged Evan. 

 

“You’re welcome? It wasn’t hard I just had to say that I was sad and you cheered me up, I mean it wasn’t a lie.” Evan said, grabbing Connor’s hand and pulling him towards the library. 

 

“My whole heart just melted stop. You are making me blush.” Connor whined covering his face with his hands and Evan pulled Connor’s hands into his so he could see the blush and giggle. 

 

“God it’s so much better in real life.” Evan smiled at Connor.

 

“Stop I have a reputation.” 

 

“Me too but now that all goes out the window sorry bab. ALSO I WILL NOW SWEAR YOU TO SECRECY. I am about to show you a place that nobody knows about but me. So do you, Connor Murphy, promise me, Evan Hansen, that you won’t tell anyone about this spot?” Evan said seriously. 

 

“It’s not like I have anyone to tell.” Connor laughed. 

 

“Uh Shhh. DO YOU CONNOR MURPH-” Evan tried to repeat himself but Connor interrupted before he could finish. 

 

“Yes, I Connor Murphy, promise you, Evan Hansen, my hand in marriage.” Connor laughed. 

 

Evan’s mouth fell opened and he blushed. 

 

“Connnooorrrr.” 

 

“Okay fine, I Connor Murphy, promise you, Evan Hansen, that I won’t tell a soul. But I also promise my hand in marriage too.” Connor winked at Evan, making him go three shades darker. 

 

Evan sighed and lead Connor to a corner of the library and let go of Connor’s hand so he could push the shelf slightly, revealing a door. He then grabbed Connor’s hand again and led him inside, let go of his hand to pull the shelf back into place so no one could see the door, and then flipped a switch, revealing a bunch of Christmas lights lining the room and a small TV in the corner with a bunch of old VHS's next to it. 

 

Holy fucking shit.

 

“Evan how the actual fuck did you even find this place?”

 

Evan ended up telling him that a few months ago around the beginning of the year some assholes kept targeting him in the halls, and the librarian ended up seeing, taking a liking to Evan, and showing him the room so when she wasn’t around he could be safe from all the bullying. 

 

“But anyways I usually come here when Dan and Phil upload and I’m in class, or when I wanna read fanfictions.”

 

Connor laughed so hard he ended up on the floor trying to catch his breath. 

 

Evan gave him a look.

 

“What is so funny?”

 

“That’s just the most fucking Evan thing you have ever said to me.” Connor laughed as he stood up from the floor, brushing off some of the dust from his black jeans and straightening his shirt. 

 

“Okay the real question is, have you read Piece by Piece?” Evan asked. 

 

Connor thought for a second trying to remember every fanfiction he had ever read and ding fucking ding, “Wait! The one where they meet at the convention and then have to stop talking because of the boyfriend?” 

 

Evan’s eyes lit up like the sun. 

 

“Yes! Dude Kevin is such a Dickweed I hope he genuinely rots in fucking hell.” 

 

“BITCH I KNOW RIGHT?? AND THE ENDING ALWAYS HURTS ME? LIKE DAN IS SUCH A SWEET BOY AND PHIL JUST DESERVES THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD OKAY??” Connor cried. 

 

For the remaining of the period they talked about their favorite parts of Piece by Piece and how good Stranger Things was. Connor begun to notice a lot of things about Evan. Like how when he got excited his eyes lit up like Zoe’s did when Connor brought her anything. Or how when he laughed he laughed with his whole body. Or how when he talked about things that really mattered to him he uses a ton of gestures and he smiles the whole time. Or how his hair is super curly even when he brushes through it. And that he brushes his hands through his hair a lot. And how he sometimes stutters. 

 

Just little things, but Connor knew. He was in deep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you laughed. as always, kudos and comments keep me going. i adore you. 
> 
> (also yes this is short im sorryyYyy! also please tell me what you think about actual writing instead of the texts? i kinda miss all the text convos, but soon there will be a chapter that is all text! (i haven't written it lmao) But yeah! i should see u on monday, but then again we will see!)


	15. He Didn't Hold Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor hates school. Evan does too. thEY SPILL TEA.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi loves! (ik this is short im sorry guys i haven't had much time to write but i felt like i owed yall something this week at least)

 

**Connor:** i fucking wanna die. 

 

**Connor:** listen i just tripped over my lace and almost killed a freshman.

 

**Connor:** then again why the fuck were they lying on the fucking floor?????

 

**Evan:** ???????????????????????????????????????????????

 

**Evan:** big mood

 

**Connor:** i haTE SCHOOL SO FUCKING MUCH.

 

**Evan:** but like fucking same like wtf do i have to be he r  e.

 

**Connor:** wHY THE FUVK WE NEED ALGEBRA SISTER??

 

**Evan:** I FUCKING HATE SCHOOL LIKE FUCK EVERYTHING E V E R Y T H IN G.

 

**Connor:** whAT DID I DO

 

**Evan:** evERYTHING BUT U

 

**Connor:** bITCH DID U HEAR EMINEM'S NEW FUCKING ALBUM

 

**Connor:** hE DID THAT 

 

**Connor:** HE FUCKING DID THAT

 

**Evan:** BITCH I WAS FUCKING DYING WHEN HE FUCKING TOOK A SWING AT LIL PUMP AND LIL XAN

 

**Connor:** DUDE HE SAID FUCK THOSE GUYS 

 

**Evan:** hE FUCKING DID THAT I LOVE???

 

**Connor:** the fucking controversy I CANT TODAY IM NOT EVEN GONNA GIVE A SHIT SMH

 

**Evan:** bRO I LOVE THAT HE KEEPS TALKING SHIT ABOUT REVIVAL AND SAYING HOW EVERYONE SLEPT ON IT

 

**Connor:** biTCH I DIDN’T REVIVAL WAS GUCCI WTF

 

**Evan:** omFG THE FUCKING PAUL SKIT AND THE ONE WHERE HE REPLIES IM DONE 

 

**Connor:** eVERYONE IS GONNA BE SAYING THIS BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT VENOM????

 

**Evan:** bITCH RIGHT IT WAS SO GOOD??

 

**Connor:** yES LIKE WHAT

 

**Evan:** ALSO WHEN HE MOCKED MIGOS SKSKKSS

 

**Connor:** DUDE I WAS LIKE WHY DOES THIS SOUND SO FAMILIAR

 

**Connor:** thEN I CHECKED TO SEE WTF HE WAS ON ABOUT AND THEN THE WHOLE RAINDROP DROP SHIT APPEARED SKSLSKSS

 

**Evan:** im weeping

 

**Evan:** 10/10 WOULD RECOMMEND I T DID NOT LET ME DOWN AT ALL

 

**Connor:** biTCH IT WAS A SISTER SURPRISE

 

**Evan:** if u say sister again im gonna sister shoot myself

 

**Evan:** all i hear from the freshman is “sister” this and sister that.

 

**Evan:** how about brother bye????

 

**Connor:** MOMMY MANGOES IF U WILL.

 

**Evan:** I FUCKING JUST SPIT OUT MY DRINK

 

**Connor:** gRANDFATHER GRAPES?

 

**Connor:** BROTHER BANANAS???

 

**Evan:** STOP MY HEAD H URT S FROM LAUGHING SO MUCH SKLSLS

 

**Connor:** i lITERALLY COULDN’T NOT TYPE THAT THOUGH ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY AND MY HUMOR IS NON EXISTENCE KSKSKSKS

 

**Evan:** i cant breathe.

 

**Connor:** AnYWAYS. fuCK SCHOOL LETS JUST BE EM AND DNP FANBOY’S FOREVER AND D I E.

 

**Evan:** our messages have drastically changed. 

 

**Evan:** punCTUATION FLEW OUT THE DOOR LIKE MY WIG WHEN EM DROPPED HIS ALBUM.

 

**Connor:** i just GOT LAZY AND ITS EITHER ALL CAPS O R NONE PERIODS WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT

 

**Evan:** bIG MOOD BC LITERALLY SAME 

 

**Evan:** sAVE CORRECTNESS FOR ENGLISH

 

**Connor:** eND ME 

 

**Evan:** enDME

 

**Connor:** diD U SEE THE JOHNNY MEME.

 

**Evan:** yes??? I hATE IT

 

**Evan:** also there is a furry in my groupchat…. im???

 

**Connor:** A REAL ASS FURRY??

 

**Evan:** thEY ARE TALKING ABOUT THEIR FUR SUIT AND HOW THE SEWED IT HIMSELF I WANNA CRY

  
**Connor:** fuCKING LEAVE

 

**Evan:** i don't wanna hurt people’s feelings

 

**Connor:** cOOL SO I WILL DO IT FOR U 

 

**Connor:** SEE U AT SCHOOL BC I GTG TO BED SISTER

 

**Evan:** FUCK OFF WITH THE SISTER SHIT BEFORE I SISTER SLIP INTO SAYINBG IT.

 

**Connor:** bYE SISTER

 

**Evan:** FUCK U

 

**Connor:** ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly ive been gone for so long sorry guys! i started school and ts so fucking hectic smh i haven't had any time to write. anyways kudos and comments keep me going, as always i adore you and i will see you soon.


	16. Fire.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor gets a spooky game he and Evan wanted to play. They never played the game lmao.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so holy fucking shit! hi! ive been gone a long ass time im sorry! anyways here's an all text chapter i will be back soon!

**Connor:** evan. Please. Please. Please. If you love me. Please. Come. to. The math wing.

 

 **Evan:** Bitch. I left the math wing two classes ago. I’m not trying to go back. Not when I don’t have too. The math wing is like hell. I would rather summon slenderman then fucking go back to the math wing.

 

 **Evan:** Just come to me instead.

 

 **Connor:** wAIT WHAT CLASS DO YOU HAVE BC I GOT LET OUT EARLY BITCH!

 

 **Evan:** SKKS LOSER U JUST GOT OUT.

 

 **Evan:** I GET OUT EARLY ON THURSDAYS BC I HAVE THERAPY HAHAH.

 

 **Evan:** wait,,,,,that…..

 

 **Connor:** I??????

 

 **Evan:** it be like that

 

 **Connor:** yeah it be like that

 

 **Connor:** Well when do you get out? Because u need to come over to play Outlast with me.

 

 **Evan:** NO WAY

 

 **Evan:** YOU BOUGHT IT?????

 

 **Evan:** I GET OUT AT 3:30

 

 **Connor:** OKAY I WILL PICK U UP FROM UR HOUSE AT 4:15

 

 **Connor:** BE READY BITCH.

 

 **Evan:** SPOOKY WEEK IS QUAKING.

 

 **Connor:** A BITCH FUCKING KNOWS AND IS READY TO BE SISTER FUCKING SPOOKED.

 

 **Evan:** sKSKS HAVe u SeeN tHE FUCKING DRAMA!?

 

 **Connor:** WHICH DRAMA MY TL IS ALL DRAMA SIS

 

 **Evan:** the one,,,,where,,,u know,,,dan,,,,changed,,,,his layout to a furry,,,,,

 

 **Connor:** babe that’s not drama that’s the truth.

 

 **Evan:** listen,,,,,,,ik but like,,ijust wannabelieveitsarumor.

 

 **Connor:** well, newsflash: it’s not bby.

 

 **Evan:** god first i meet a furry at school, and now dan is one :0

 

 **Connor:** iM SORRY WHAT

 

 **Connor:** whOO THE FUCK IS A

 

 **Connor:** F

  


**Connor:** U

 

 **Connor:** R

 

 **Connor:** R

 

 **Connor:** Y

 

 **Connor:** aT OUR SCHOOOL?????????????????????????????????????????????

 

 **Evan:** listen i don’t wanna out anyone but like i have tried erasing my memory twelve too many times of this day and listen,,, its the kid that stares at the wall and barks at pigeons,,,,,,

 

 **Connor:** oh my,,,

 

 **Connor:** k y l e is a f u r r y.

 

 **Evan:** yes

 

 **Evan:** kyle

 

 **Evan:** is

 

 **Evan:** a

 

 **Evan:** furry

 

 **Connor:** is that why in the sixth grade he wore those cat ears all year,,,,,

 

 **Evan:** and then added a tail in seventh? yeah im guessing so.

 

 **Connor:** hey so when i come get u im gonna also bring tide pods and bleach so we can have a refreshing snack to hopefully forget this conversation.

 

 **Evan:** con,, that would just kill us,,,,,

 

 **Connor:** sounds good either way.

 

 **Evan:** i mean ur not wrong,, but dip,,, and pip,,,,

 

 **Evan:** once i meet them with a pic of u we can die,,,, but not today.

 

 **Connor:** ig we will just have to power through and never look at kyle the same,,,

 

 **Evan:** sKSKKS

 

 **Evan:** oh my fucking god listen,

 

 **Connor:** im always listening to u what

 

 **Evan:** t r e n c h

 

 **Connor:** T R E N C H

 

 **Evan:** its so fucking good

 

 **Connor:** it certainly fucks me sideways with a stick tbh.

 

 **Connor:** fucking chlorine in my beats on full blast mHHHH

 

 **Evan:** and this is why u have hearing problems,,,

 

 **Connor:** U KNOW WHAT?

 

 **Connor:** ur not wrong,

 

 **Connor:** BUT I LIKE TO LIVE LIFE ON EDGE OKAY

 

 **Evan:** yes,,,,,sure.

 

 **Connor:** at least my idea of living life on edge isn't like skydiving

 

 **Evan:** living like larry con,, living like larry.

 

 **Connor:** now is not the time for spongebob references,,,,

 

 **Evan:** BITCH WHAT THE FUCK????

 

 **Connor:** ??

 

 **Evan:** ITS ALWAYS TIME FOR SPONGEBOB REFERENCES.

 

 **Connor:** ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

 **Evan:** fuck u im blocking u

 

 **Connor:** nO

 

 **Connor:** nOT AGAIN

 

 **Connor:** i waS SO LONELY WITHOUT U

 

 **Connor:** dONT U DARE

 

 **Connor:** i kNOW WHERE U FUCKING LIVE

 

 **Connor:** I WILL FUCKING BURN UR HOUSE DOWN

 

 **Evan:** ,,,,,,,,

 

 **Evan:** but then i would be dead???

 

 **Connor:** shit

 

 **Connor:** okay so there’s a flaw in my plan but it be like that sometimes, really.

 

 **Connor:** but fire is always the answer,

 

 **Connor:** zoe eats all ur donuts??? Fire.

 

 **Connor:** ur parents wont let u have a fucking pet? FIRE.

 

 **Connor:** see? fire solves it all!

 

 **Evan:** connor,, no.

 

 **Evan:** connor,,,,,,,,,,,, nO.

 

 **Evan:** just no.

 

 **Evan:** fire is never the correct answer who the fuck are u whEEZE.

 

 **Connor:** but what about bonfires????

 

 **Evan:** what about them??

 

 **Connor:** they solve everything.

 

 **Evan:** bitch how

 

 **Connor:** listen..

 

 **Connor:** a huge ass fire

 

 **Connor:** people roasting marshmallows,

 

 **Connor:** and my self esteem :)))

 

 **Evan:** weird flex but okay

 

 **Connor:** eVAN NO SKKSK

 

 **Evan:** lmao the school district made a whole slideshow to flex on me bc im never at school anymore.

 

 **Connor:** eVAN NO STOP

 

 **Evan:** f L E X

 

 **Connor:** bby no

 

 **Evan:** yes.

 

 **Connor:** oh yeah btw ive been outside in ur driveway for ten minuets,,, i kinda forgot.

 

 **Evan:** cONNOR WHAT THE FUCK

 

 **Connor:** oopS?

 

 **Evan:** i’ll be there in a second.

 

 **Connor:** :,,,,,,,,,,,,,,))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so for those of u who actually care,, the reason ive been gone for so long is i have been going through it lmao, i got surgery (my appendix exploded, im okay now!) school started, and im now on meds for my mental issues so ive been trying to get adjusted and catch up with school and now i finally had sometime to write so i did. 
> 
> i miss ya'll so much kudos and comments keep me going, as always i adore all of ur faces.


	17. Outlast? Hell Fucking No.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor picks Evan up and they "play" Outlast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh!! hi guys! enjoy the chapter and i'll tell u all about what's been going on at the end!

 

Connor honked his horn twice to alert Evan he was outside. As he waited for Evan to come out of his house he wondered how fucking terrifying playing Outlast was going to be. He had seen many people play it but never him himself play it. 

 

There was a knock at the window, breaking Connor out of his trance.

 

“Yeah fuck no am I playing this game. I am watching you play and supporting you. But controlling it? Yeah fuck no. I have decided.” Evan stated as he got into the car. 

 

“Evan what the fuck. You get in this car and just fucking attack me like that?” 

 

“Listen Connor. I am a pussy. I cannot, no I will not be controlling this game.” Evan said. 

 

“You fucker. I thought we were gonna take turns but now I’m gonna have to play all by myself? I’m gonna piss myself. Twice.” Connor laughed.

 

“Well I hope you have extra clothes because I think you are gonna need them.”

 

“Evan it’s my house of course I have extra clothes?” 

 

“YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT.”

 

“What kind of person doesn’t have extra clothes at their own house?” 

 

“FUCK OFF AND DRIVE ALREADY.” 

 

~

 

They pulled into Connor’s driveway and walked into the house. Zoe was at her friends house and Connor’s parents were gone as usual. 

 

They went upstairs to Connor’s room and Connor got everything set up. 

 

“Yeah I can’t fucking do this.” 

 

“Connor are you fucking kidding me.” 

 

“Listen bitch you are the self proclaimed pussy and maybe I want to be that too. All I know is that if I play this I am actually gonna piss myself and I don’t wanna do that again today.” 

 

“CONNOR WHAT.” 

 

“No this is my home. We are watching fucking Jacksepticeye or fucking Mark play this I WILL NOT.” 

 

“I mean pop off or whatever I guess.”

 

~

 

**Evan:** CONNOR IMMA ScREAM

 

**Connor:** mood

 

**Evan:** I MEET DIP AND PIP IN ONE FUCKING DAY.

 

**Connor:** oH SHIT KSKSKS 

 

**Evan:** i am freaking out

 

**Evan:** juTS THE OTHER DAY IT WAS 100 DAYS

 

**Evan:** noW ITS TOMORROW

 

**Connor:** aNNA OU

**Connor:** arE YOU READY???????????????? DO YOU KNPW WHAT YOURE HONNA SAY???

 

**Evan:** hahhah bitch ur fucking funny i will figure out what im gonna say at 11:59 tonight ;)

**Connor:** eVAN WHAT THE FUCK

**Evan:** FUCK UYOU I CANT BREATH THIS IS WILD IM MEETING THEM. LIKE METTING THEM

**Connor:** EVAN U ARE GONNA BREATH THE SAME AIR AS THEM!1!1!1!

**Evan:** listen here i know what i typed 

**Connor:** Whatever breath

**Evan:** whatever mr i have to stay in school all thursdays bc i dont have therapy

**Connor:** ANNA OU?????

**Evan:** cONNOR FFS 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy fucking shit have i missed you all. it's been a rough fucking past months and ive had no motivation but im back now! i missed writing this so much. i opened it today and started laughing at it bc it genuinely bring me a lot of joy. i'm back now and i'm going to try to update as frequently as possible to make up for all the time ive been gone. i adore all of you, as usual. thanks for sticking around.

**Author's Note:**

> leave me kudos and a comment to motivate me to keep writing. i adore all of you all, as usual.
> 
> come hang out with me on tumblr: https://rulingoftheplants.tumblr.com/


End file.
